A letter to my 18-month old Baby Brooks:
Thank you for 18 months of beautiful memories. Thank you for catching up to the flow of my overwhelming burst of breastmilk at first when your little mouth and little throat weren’t prepared to handle it yet... eventually we managed found our own flow, together. Thank you for always being so easy-going, for taking whatever Mom offers, no matter how it’s offered.
When you know you have hurt Mommy, although you may not know how or how to prevent it the next time it happens, you always stop whatever you were doing that caused the pain to kiss me better first.
You really don’t like an angry or upset Mommy, so you would always pause, look me in the eye and keeping calling, “Mommy, Mommy,” until Mommy smiles again.
There are so many things you don’t understand about the world yet, but you understand your current world so well: we are all you know and we know you feel so safe and happy with us. I hope you will always know you are safe and very much loved by your brother, daddy and most of all, Mommy.
This is the end of our breastfeeding journey together, but the beginning of so much more. You will now want me to hold you because you just want me to hold you. You will now call for me, just because you want Mommy to be there. You will now enjoy food more, I am sure, without anymore fussy distractions for Mommy’s milk.
As any breastfeeding Mom would agree, I cannot bear the thought of not holding you close for comfort when you need to be soothed; I cannot bear the thought of you not needing me to make you feel better anymore through the mere comfort of nursing; and if you were to catch a cold or a virus, I cannot bear not having the best medicine there is on Earth for you readily available at your command.
But we will grow together, and we will love each other so much more in so many different ways. I know, because your brother turned out to be the perfect boy too, with or without my breastmilk in the long run.
I love you so much. In all shapes, sizes and forms you can ever imagine.
Love,
Mommy
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